I got married 8 years ago today. It was a perfect fall day.
I made my own veil and designed my own invitations.
It was an early evening ceremony and I walked down the aisle on my father’s arm to Sarah Brightman’s Ave Maria (my mother had walked down the aisle to the same song on her father’s arm 28 years earlier).
I was 27 years old and beyond nervous.
Nearly 200 people watched us get married that day and even more attended our cocktail party reception at a downtown hotel later that evening.
Fast forward 8 years, 4 moves and countless crises. Today we’re divorced co-parents to two pretty fantastic children and, in my mind, can find ourselves struggling to maintain simple courtesy towards one another.
Would I have hesitated if someone had told me, as I stepped into that church 8 years ago, that the man waiting for me at the end of the aisle would walk away from our family or that I would soon be a largely single parent? Would I have gotten back into that ridiculously long, white limo and driven away if I’d known that less than 5 years after taking a vow to honour and cherish each other we’d be standing at opposite ends of our kitchen island crying while our children slept? Would I have called the whole thing off I’d had a clue what it would feel like to file for divorce of if I’d been given a glimpse of what our divorce decree would look like?
No.
Although, if I’d asked those same questions of myself 3 years ago I suspect my answer might have been different…and a damn site more emotionally wrought.
It goes without saying that if I hadn’t taken that plunge 8 years ago, I wouldn’t have the honour and privilege of being a mom to two incredible little people who, by their very existence, make every moment of every day immeasurably precious and worthwhile.
While I still find myself sobbing on occasion at a RomCom or country song whose protagonist male’s undying devotion is natural and implicit, it has given me the opportunity to grow as a person. I am able to find my independence and embrace it in a way I wouldn’t otherwise have been able to do. I have friends that I could never have hoped to have otherwise. I know that I am stronger now, more decisive.
The truth is that I’m almost grateful for the experience.
Almost.
